(It seems I’ve fallen into old habits again; I had to sweep away cobwebs to click on “Add New Post.” I’ve got a lot of stuff to write about in the coming weeks, so hopefully you don’t decide to abandon me by then.)
We (meaning my sister, her husband, and I) have always noticed Bypass Burger when we drive around BF Parañaque looking for a place to dine in. We never really considered eating there, until I saw pictures of seemingly glorious food while checking my Instagram, at which point I convinced them to give it a shot last night.
Bypass Burger’s appeal is its novelty theme of a hospital where you can get food that’ll potentially land you in one. They certainly tried to make the place look like a hospital: chairs look like mini hospital beds, the tables have lamps that look like dextrose bottles, and the light at the counter looks like one of those overhead surgery light fixtures. But even with the kitschy pieces, poor execution managed to make a trendy, potential-filled theme, well, boring. Anyway, the entire place seats 28 and the overall ambiance was… well, there was none. Also, I’m pretty sure the place has no Wi-Fi.
The lady manning the cashier doubled as the server, so you can imagine how the line tended to build up every time she left to bring food to a table. (I actually noticed a customer leave after a few minutes of waiting at the unmanned counter.) No wonder her head seemed kind of out there; we spoke slow and articulated our orders really well, and she still forgot stuff as she repeated our order back to us. And as expected, since they seem severly undermanned, service takes a while. They’re up front about this set-back, too, since they put a sign up front about not serving fast food, but good food as fast as they can.
My sister and I decided to share a Single Bypass Burger (a single beef patty with tomato, lettuce, onion, and cheese) and a Cheesey Baconlesterol (a bacon-wrapped cheddar and mozzarella sandwich), while my brother-in-law had a Triple Bypass Burger. We also asked for a plate of Comatose Mojos for sharing.
The Cheesey Baconlesterol, which looked awesome on Instagram, was underwhelming at best. It had a good amount of cheese, but the bacon strips (at least the ones under the top layer) weren’t crispy the way the top ones were. And you could taste that the bacon was low-quality. Not surprising, since the sandwich was only Php108. You get what you pay for, I guess.
The Single Bypass Burger (Php98), another photogenic candidate, looked much better than it tasted. The thin patty, which was dry and overcooked (even a bit burned), was also very bland and had zero beef taste. I’m guessing my brother-in-law’s order (Php238) was thrice as bad, and he confirmed it.
The Comatose Mojos (Php98) were the best things we ordered that night. They were crisp on the outside and soft on the inside, and they weren’t too salty. Plus they went well with the nice dip they came with.
The best thing about Bypass Burger would probably be the budget-friendly prices, which might appeal to college kids and other people who are looking to get burgers on the cheap. Unfortunately, they don’t surprise you with great flavors; the quality of food generally echoes the low cost. So for the sub-par food, coupled with the sad interior and even sadder service, Bypass Burger isn’t a place I’d want to confine myself to. If I have to come back here, it’ll be for the mojos, but to be honest, it’s not enough of a motivation for me. The next time I do get burgeritis, I’m hauling ass to Zark’s.
Overall rating: ★✭☆☆☆
31-C Aguirre Avenue, BF Homes, Parañaque City
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