An ode to coffee

I love coffee. Words can’t even express how infatuated I am with it. I can’t get through the day without at least 4 cups of it. In a mug or a cup, steaming or cold, black or creamed, I’ll take it morning, noon and night. I think I should form a new religion that praises the stuff.

I know that if coffee were a person, his heart would contain not just me but millions of others who feel the same way, and I wouldn’t even be jealous; I’d completely understand. So in honor of those whose worlds start with and are affected by this liquid gold, here are a few great quotes about it that deserve to be printed on a mug because they’re true (the 18th one should be on a really big mug).

“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”
Jerry Seinfeld

“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.”
Flash Rosenberg

“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.”
David Letterman

“Black as night, sweet as sin.”
Neil Gaiman, Anansi Boys

“Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.”
Jesse Lane Adams

“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.”
Unknown

“I can’t stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentence doing.”
Daniel Palladino and Amy Sherman-Palladino, Gilmore Girls

“Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.”
Stephanie Piro

“Coffee is a language in itself.”
Jackie Chan

“Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another coffee.”
Unknown

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.”
Dave Barry

“Coffee makes me invincible. But when the cup is empty, I return to mere mortal.”
Terri Guillemets

“Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.”
Rick Berman, Michael Piller, and Jeri Taylor, Star Trek: Voyager

“Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.”
Terry Pratchett, Thud!

“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.”
Bill Cosby

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”
Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

“Coffee is real good; when you drink, it gives you time to think. It’s a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.”
Gertrude Stein

“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.”
James Mackintosh

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
David Lynch

I know there are a lot more quotes out there, many of them better than the ones on this list, but I’m going to stop at 20. Because honestly, would you rather sit here right now and read about coffee, or out there grabbing a cup?

 

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